Almost A Woman

melancholy

2005-08-29T03:59:00.000-07:00

.::Im not a girl, not yet a woman::.

I used to think I had the answers to everything
But now I know
That life doesn't always go my way
Feels like I'm caught in the middle
That's when I realize

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time, a moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl

There is no need to protect me
It's time that I
Learn to face up to this on my own
I've seen so much more than you know now
So don't tell me to shut my eyes

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time, a moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl

But if you look at me closely
You will see it in my eyes
This girl will always find her way

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time, a moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl

(I'm not a girl) I'm not a girl, don't tell me what to believe
(Not yet a woman) I'm just trying to find the woman in me, yeah
(All I need is time) Oh, all I need is time
(A moment that is mine) That's mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl, not yet a woman, no no
All I need is time, a moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl, ooh
Not yet a woman

.::Breakaway::.

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.
Make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun.
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jetplane
Far away
And break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.
Make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun.
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging with revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me
Gotta keep movin on movin on
Fly away
Break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
Take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun.
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away
Breakaway
Break away

...smiles... sighs... sobs....

boiling

2005-08-25T02:54:00.000-07:00

i made a list of things-to-do but i haven't accomplished anything on the list yet. im so so lazy! i guess i can never really take school seriously. hahahaha!

last tuesday, i submitted the script for our talk show "Talk Trio". im the director but since our scriptwriter is very irresponsible and damn stupid, i decide to make the script myself. Imagine, i asked her to submit a script for our topic, which is "employment", serious stuff right? and what she gave me is a crap! a script so barbaric and oh-so gay! our EP asked her to submit the script early so that we can deliberate on it. our's is a 30 minutes show and she submitted a two-page script containing crap! everyone in the group are really pissed off. we even planned on kicking her out of the group, but we're still so nice to let her stay coz if we'll kick her out, then she would have to do a one man production which will cost her a lot, and we pity her for that but she's really so hard to deal with! we try as hard as we could be nice to her. as in! i'll just enumerate why we don't like her;

> she's so irresponsible (program format, letters and script thingy)
> she always gives invalid excuses when she's late or absent.
> she's a delay during the photoshoot. everyone was already in front of the cam, ready to strike a pose, and she? argh! still doing her make-up. she had retouched for more than 5x already, and take note, 5x before the shoot started! she's made a big fus on her make up when she's not even the host. duh!!!
> when we were decorating/ doing the set design, i asked her to buy a pentel pen and manila paper for the idiot board since the hosts were't able to study their lines coz we still dont have script then because of her.. that was around 4:45pm i guess and the show will start at 6pm. it was already 5 to 6 and she hasn't come back so i texted where she is, and her reply was "wait lng, ngmemerienda lng me" i was so pissed off! but i have to contain my anger coz i dont want to ruin my day even if it already is. the whole group was like "ang kapal tlga! haggard na tayo lht dito, nakuha nya pa mgmerienda!!"
> we she came, i asked her nicely to finish the IB as fast as she could. and mengz! nagdabog pa!!! i was about to confront her but someone called me coz one of our guests has arrived. argh!
> during the shoot, everyone was "toxic", i was doing the shot lists and am directing at the same time, since i needed a PA, i asked kiki(our production manager) to assist me, our EP, paulo became the audioman that night, as in everyone was busy and multitasking, but then after the show, kiki told me that she saw her inside the dressing room, doing her make-up while all of us were like close to dying!!! haggard-looking as in not even a concealer or powder on our faces (except the hosts), haven't eaten dinner yet and she's in the dressing room doing her make up and talking to somebody on the fone!!!! gggrrrrr!
> even ate cha(owner of the resto) and ate joey (EP of a show in ABS) find her maldita. i dont want to go into details on what she did to these two supportive and generous people, but im telling you, it's something really bad that causes ate cha to tell me that she doesn't want to see her face on the resto again!
> there are still lots of things but im too lazy to type it. but what i posted here are just a few. the whole class doesn't like her actually. kiki said it's because i dont like her that's why the class hates her,ahahhah! influencial!?! ahahaha

by the way, last tuesday we had this lil' argument during the class. we were seated on the stage(studio) only 2 persons apart. she's protesting why I didn't put her name as the scriptwriter, paolo told her that why should I? in the first place I made the script (period). we were arguing for like 10minutes. I wanted to raise my voice but I cant coz we hav a class going on. we stopped for a while. then when she spoke to me again after like 10 minutes, she's more calm and nicer? ahahhah. this time she wasn't arguing anymore, she's asking me now what her designation would be, I said it’s for the group to deliberate.

when we halt from arguing, wacky dodo whispered that I bit her up! ahahaha she's like "fifi, suntukan na lng kayo later after class.. hihihihi talo mo yan kahit payat ka.. hihihi" unconsciously, her whisper is loud enough for her to hear.. ahahah.. I was just laughing at the idea! ahaha.. dodo can really be wacky even at times like that ahhahaa! my groupmates find it so "kapal" of her to even ask why she's no longer the scriptwriter. duh!

anyways, I'll just update you with more of what's happening to me. there are lots actually that I wanna share but this one's long enough to read and besides I don’t feel like typing anymore.. im really sleepy it's 3 in the morning, my class is at 1pm.. huhuhuhu...ciao!

the weeks that passed

2005-08-15T21:45:00.000-07:00

i haven't updated my blog for weeks now.. im super busy so im just gonna make this update really brief..

:+: my sked's really a mess... as in!

:+: i watched if only with kiki, i was kinda disappointed coz i expected more from the movie.. it didn't end up to be the tearjerker movie i expected it to be. but i like it though...

:+: i've been pigging out a lot lately.. i just hope i'd gain extra pounds.

:+: we had our pictorial for the production. it took us 3 hours just posing for the cam. i'll post the pics soon...

:+: i went to the senate and was able to interview Ms. Lynda Jumilia. she's really nice.. it's her cousin who introduced her to me/us. she even gave me her calling card so i can juz text/call her if i'd want to interview her again.

:+: i never thought directing would be that hard... we had our actual shoot last saturday and mengz! it's like directing a real show.. well... it is a real show except that it wouldn't be shown nationwide. all our guests were professionals. we finished taping at 2am. i even forgot to eat dinner coz i was busy dealing with everything and everyone.

:+: we still have a lot to do.. interviews and all...

:+: i have to work on my undergraduate research... triple time this time!

:+: we'll have our midterm exams in two weeks time.. gosh! so hectic my sked!!

:+: my hard work paid off.. i made it to the dean's list. ahahahha.. i have no plans of submitting my grades actually but my adviser forced me to do so.. and i have no choice.. but honestly, i never dreamed of being on the dean's list.. promise!!!

:+: what else? hmmm.. we'll shoot our OBB tomorrow..

with my busy sked, im glad i still get to keep in touch with my pals.. may not be all but most of them... guys! i miss ya'll! bare with my sked pls.. muahz!

fun day

2005-07-31T11:36:00.000-07:00

(click to enlarge)

not having seen my pals for a long time makes this day really fun. though i've been and really am busy lately, im glad i still found sometime to hang out with my fab friends.

after my ethics class, me and my group at tv prod had our ocular visit to California Grillin. it's this resto at del monte, quezon city that's usually being credited at ABS-CBN's "perfect moment". fortunately, my groupmate paolo, owns the place so we never had difficulty getting the venue and alloting the budget since we got it for free! aheheheh.. so lucky.. i got to try some of the foods. i like their mango crepe.. so delicious!!! you can even compare it with that of UCC. i almost forgot how i love breton's crepe. im telling you it's really mouth watering!!

i had to leave the resto at 2pm coz i still havta meet up with my fab friends at makati. i met up with kharen and rizza first, we had our haircut at bench fix and as usual i had mine styled.after that, we went to this event at greenbelt1, we were so late that when we arrived, there we only a few people on the event. luckily, we were still able to snag some freebies and buy something on the bazaar. we didn't stay long since there's nothing more to do. we juz waited for our friends jacatel and denise. while waiting for them, we decided to find a resto where we could have dinner, we settled at haiku. after that we went to CBTL and something really embarassing happend.. ahhahaha.. i dont want to go into details.. gosh! so embarassing, denise and kristel!! waheheheh!! our next stop was SBC, we settled there to rest and to shop as well. jacatel brought their cute products. i bought 3 new drop earrings from them. too bad no white feather earrigs was left for me so i juz have to ask them to reserve one for me.. and oh before i forgot.. rirai bag all the good stuff since she's the first one to look at their products.. rirai!! i ask kris to buy me an id holder when they go back to china. we also talked about sad sonata.. i was so kilig!!. we were still at SBC when i noticed that it's not juz me, kharen and jacatel.. , belinda, stef and their guy pals arrived and joined us.. ahahhaha.. we dunno where to go after SBC. it was already 12am when we decided to go to red box. kris and i sung this one song from sad sonata.. uhmmmm... "yesterday once more".. ahahahah.. what we really wanna sing is L-O-V-E but they dont have the version we like. i was dead tired then.. denise brought me home at 2:30am and when we got home, kris texted me that we forgot to pay our bills! ahahah.. bad bad! but i swear, i really forgot!!

it was nice seeing my fab friends again. i juz hope i wouldn't be so busy so we can hang out more often.. we're planning to have our nails done.. pamper day!!! muahz! i had a great day with you guys! muahz!

bumblebee

2005-07-20T08:49:00.000-07:00

im as busy as a bumblebee. school is really giving me a hectic schedule. i hardly have time to go out and pamper myself. i slept for only two hours last night! gosh! can you imagine how huge my eyebags are!?! im preoccupied with school works and other school stuff. argh! i so wanna watch movie... herbie fully loaded, if only(desperately!!), and sisterhood of the travelling pants(so wanna!) to name a few on my list. argh! argh! i haven't read a new book since summer. haven't gone out with friends yet, but soon i promise i will... we plan on going out on the 30th. that's the only day when i can really go out, that's my only free time. on the afternoon i'll be going out with kharen, chriz and her friend, hopefully bea could make it. jacatel, and rizza will follow for dinner. then after dinner, my college pals and i might gimmick on makati, eastwood or timog. were not sure where yet. but if it's makati then we'll probably just chillax. it dismays me just thinking of my sched.argh! argh! lemme post my sched here:

july 23-written preliminary exam on media ethics (not scantron type!! waaaahh)
july 24-submission of revised written version of the chapter 1 of my undergraduate research. complete the right format (double spaced, super justified!!, cursived and all that special format demanded by our professor)
july 25-written preliminary exam on WOS1. (on-the-spot written exam of chapter 1. we'll make the chapter1 of a thesis, topic will be given on-the-spot. basically everything will be done that time. i have no idea how i can prepare for this!! argh! ggrrrr!!!)
july 28-prelims on tv prod and direction (scantron type so easy for me)
july 30-hangout with friends (after class).
august 5/6/7- ocular visits to our talk show location.
august 10-shopping for all the materials to be used in the talk show. (decorations, backdrop, props, tokens, tapes.. everything!!) you'll probably have an idea how much we'll be spending for this production. lotsa moolah darling!
august 13-general rehearsal(including the decoration of the place/studio, pre-production)
august 14-shooting day!!!
august 20/21- shooting or taping of opening billboard (OBB) and closing billboard (CBB).
august 24- possible date for re-shooting (if there will be problems.. hopefully none coz that means another extra budget! hahahah)
august 27-blah-rough cut and editing. i dunno how long it will take to actually edit a 30 minuter show. a 12 minuter takes 3days-1 week, so probably a week or two for a 30minuter.(this requires lotta work and sleepless nights!!) EYEBAG part of the production. hihihi

my sched for september is still indefinite. i just wish it wouldn't be as loaded as my august.

awkie, enough of my sched. yesterday, i stayed at school 'till around 6pm. i was with kiki, donna went home coz she had to go to the salon. we were so hungry and im craving for wendy's cheesy bacon mushroom melt (yum!yum!). after my meeting with Dr. Cuevas, since i was craving for mushroom melt, kiki and i went to wendy's to feed our grumbling tummies. it's funny how hungry we were. waheheheheh! we ordered two meals... each... wahehehhe she had chicken with rice and fries meal and a hamburger and fries meal. i also had the chicken with rice and fries meal and the cheesy bacon mushroom melt meal!! we had our burger meals for take-out but we end up eating 'em too coz we cant resist for we're really horsingly(horsingly???) hungry! imagine, we ate two meals in one sitting! aehehheheh! when we left our table, we glanced back and realized how manly we ate. hihihi. kiki, we ate like a horse!! waheheheh!

In 3s

2005-07-13T17:19:00.000-07:00

I found this on bianca's blog and felt like answering it. actually i didn't copy this from her blog coz she disabled right clicking.. aheheheh! but anywayz, here it is..

In 3s
Three names you go by:
1. Kim/kimi
2. Fifi
3.iska

Three screen names you have had:
1. khymzky
2. candygurl_muahz
3. fifi

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. Hands
2. nose
3. tummy/waistline

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. Feet
2. eyebags/dark circles
3. hair (so nipis!)

Three parts of your heritage:
1. filipino
2. spanish
3. japanese accdg to the elders.. hihihi

Three things that scare you: 1.death of my loved ones 2.losing everything at once3. faling myself
Three of your everyday essentials:
1. prayers
2. allowance
3. food

Three of your favorite musical artists:
1. MYMP
2. Alicia Keys (she makes great music!)
3. Boa

Three of your favorite songs:
1. if i aint got you
2. karma
3. butterfly

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. unconditional love
2. Trust/respect
3. growth

Three lies and truths in no particular order:
LIES:
1. you know me really well... (u have no idea! not a bit.. im telling you!)
2. you can never have true friends on the net.
3. 'Queer people' are bad/evil!

TRUTH:
1. God is always good
2. There is always something good/positive about everything and everyone.
3. everything is possible!

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. Handsome face
2. The way he dresses or carries himself (should be clean and he should be comfortable in whatever he's in)
3. Nice smile

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. surfing the net
2. hanging out with pals
3. chillaxin!

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. do my reaction paper on ethics even if my reaction would be really unethical!
2. move out of the haus and live on my own!
3. spend sometime with my friends.. huhuhu

Three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. media related jobs
2. fashion guru
3. biz woman.. wer thinking of putting up a biz actually

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. maldives
2. any aman resort
3. paris

Three kid's names you like:
1. bianca
2. alastair (my cuz's name)
3. fiaza

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. have my living funeral like the one morrie had..
2. realize all my dreams
3. Go to as many countries as I can (or go on a tour around the world)

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. im dominant/ bossy
2. i can carry heavy loads..wahehehhe! proven sa cheering!
3. I eat a looot!

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. Uber-emotional
2. Sensitive
3. I love pink!

Three celeb crushes:
1. tom cruise
2. bradd pitt
3. matt of lizzie mcguire! ahehehe cute!

***
My turn to tag...
Three people that I would like to see take this quiz:
1. kharen
2. cathy
3. kristel
4. ate jacq

im sorry if i haven't updated my blog yet.. im so lazy to do that and im still gathering my thoughts.. dunno where to start blogging.. hihihi soon this page will be updated pwamis! muahz!

lazy meeh

2005-07-03T19:47:00.000-07:00

i practically spent the whole day sleeping. my eyes feel so heavy, i dunno why.. i have nothing to do today but relax. we didnt have any assignments that will require lots of work, making me so slothful, slotty in my own vocabulary... i have transfered my notes and finished reading a book last night, nothing's left to do today. so i thought of making my backdrop for my defense. since im still kinda slotty, i ask my bro' to do it for me.. hihihi.. and he's so kind to do it... hahaha!! he did almost 85% of my backdrop, thanks kuya!!! you did a nice job! lurve the backdrop! really creative! hihihi

i really have nothing to blog about honestly... i know im not making any sense so byers!

flying high

2005-07-01T23:39:00.000-07:00

im so happy today. i feel lucky again. i defended my statement of the problem well. though there were corrections, our prof didn't grill me much. instead he said he liked my presentation. the pacing of the defense was quite fast as compared to the other sections, and that made our prof proud of us. he said we're better than section A.. waheheheh! he also told us not to tell anyone about his comment, that we should leave it on all four corners of the room.. and here i am, telling the world all about it! bad! bad! bad! but what can i do im just so so proud of our section! congratzy ya'll guys! muahz!

we also had the election of officers. i was elected as the class vice president. eeerr! it was all dick's fault. he was the one who nominated me. no other people were nominated, making me the only one to be voted.. wahehehhe! how's that!!?? waheheheh donna, kiki and dick were also elected, secretary, treasurer and auditor, respectively. hihihihi!! at last we regained our powers again! we're no longer the opposition! yiheee!!!! i know our adviser would expect a lot from us. so we have to be responsible enough and we have to set a good example to our classmates. being an officer in dr. cuevas' class isn't easy, trust me! it takes a lot of work! waaaahhh! that means a lot of responsiblity for all of us. we'll try to make him proud, we'll surely do.

i have learned a lot of things today.. things they call our passport to WOS2. oh! and by the way, we were asked to have our CBC. im kinda anxious coz i know im anemic. so as early as now i have to take medications coz students with anemia aren't allowed to do their practicum. and as we all know, practicum is the primary requirement for graduation. argh!

there are lots of things that's pressuring me, like our tv production.. i still can't think of a better idea to improve our prod. i have to make use of my creative juices since im one of the directors (paolo and I). argh! argh!! one of our groupmates is really very irritating. one more wrong move and she'll surely get in my nerves!! it's not only me who doesn't like her.. actually almost everyone in the group, even people on the other group.. she's really annoying!! grrr!!!

i dont want to spoil my day just because of her. i feel awesome and graciously lucky today! i spent some bonding time with my pals.. kiki and donna. since we're all elected we decided to have our own li'l celebration. we ate merienda after the class and stayed at white tables till 7:30pm. we were the only ones left in the campus besides the guards and other personnel.we talked about so many stuff.. from the election to ghosts! that donna gurl scared the hell out of me and kiki! it was kinda funny but we're totally scared to death! we were chatting about something funny when she said something that really scared us. we cant help but run away from her! waheheheh!! the ghost thingy made us decide to call it a day.

it was indeed a very long day. so long that so many things have happened. but ironically i didn't feel tired at all. im really so happy! i would surely end this day with a big big smile on my face.. muahz!

:+:blog-oh-rama:+:

2005-06-29T08:05:00.000-07:00

it has been a while since i last blogged.. so many things happened since then and i dont want to go into details coz it'll take me like forever to do it.. waheheh.. anywayz... i dont have class today and so i spent the whole day watching sad sonata, surfing the net, eating, sleeping and thinking... thinking of ways to make our production one hellava blast! we were assigned to do a talk show. it was kinda disappointing coz what i really wanna do is a documentary or a feature but i have no choice since twas draw-lots. fair enough though.. i was thinking of how i can make it different from the other talk shows people watch on tv. will it be ok if i combine reality tv and talk show? hmm.. will that work? but first i have to think of an interesting topic to be discussed. i already made our program format, i find it really hard to do the budgeting. we would be spending alot for this production.. wahehheh. i hope our prof would approve it. good thing i'd be working with bright people so the job wouldn't be so hard. we did our brainstorming and it was harder than i could ever imagine it to be. i hope we could come up with nicer ideas next meeting..

(^,^)political issues have been the biggest concern of many nowadays. the government was never really good enough. though GMA admitted her involvement on the wire tapping issue, still it didn't solve the dilemma coz what she said on her statement wasnt really clear and convincing enough, it only brought too much chaos. i wonder why people especially filipinos go on with attempts to impeach the president and put someone into position only to impeach them too after sometime. cant we learn from edsa 1 and 2? i mean its so irritating! when can we ever have a leader that has pure intensions for the country? we always end up with either corrupt leaders or leaders full of anomalies. what our nation needs is a leader that can unite the people and take full responsibility over the country. our country is drowning from debts and all these leaders do is rob the people. oh well.. it really makes me sick watching the news only to find out about the distabilization of the government and all those eeky-freaky political ish.

(^,^)the death of jaime cardinal sin brought me grievances. though i never really know him personally, somehow i felt the loss of him. like what they say "he's the champion of the church" and i couldn't agree more. i just cant help wondering why he passed away at the time when the country is in such chaos. well,maybe it's for good.. he has contributed so much for the country. he will be missed. we just have to be happy for him, now that his in a better place.. with God... experiencing eternal happiness. im sure he'll still look after our nation..

:+:fussy mode:+:

2005-06-26T11:49:00.000-07:00

eerrr! i haven't updated my blog lately. im super busy with school and some other stuff. i promise to blog more next time. for now, adios!! muahz!

:+:Blessed..:+:

2005-06-20T18:59:00.000-07:00

Im really getting fortunate lately! aehhehehe. Just this afternoon, i defended my research topic, "Slaying of Journalists; Its Causes and Effects". Since only 10 topics (take note! 10 out of 40+ topics) were approved in the other section. I thought that Dr. Cuevas would really grill me. But to my surprise, he didn't! I finished defending my topic, no questions asked! he approved it right away! yihee!!!

Donna's topic was also approved but unfortunately Kiki's wasn't... oh well.. Donna gave her another topic to defend. We'll just help her.. My probbie now is how can i defend my chapter 1 CREATIVELY. It should be complete with backdrop, costumes, props and everything! according to Dr. Cuevas. hmmm.. i need my creative juices for this.

I'm really happy!!! But of course, i didn't forget to thank God. I went to the church after class and thanked him for everything. I owe it all to Him. (",)

first day terror??? NOT!!!

2005-06-17T22:42:00.000-07:00

It was our first day in Dr. Cuevas' class. Everyone was scared and uneasy. We were all nervous knowing that he's the most terror teacher in the WHOLE college. Since first year, every senior and even juniors in the college would complain about Dr. Cuevas. They would worry so much when it's their time to defend their research topics and every chapter of the research.

The moment Dr. Cuevas stepped in the room, everyone was quiet, so quiet that you can hear it when a needle is dropped on the floor. Then finally he said something... "good afternoon! please dont get scared i won't eat all of you... in this class we'll learn how to swim... " in my mind was, "swim?? this isn't suppose to be a PE class.. are we in the wrong class?" then he continued, when he saw our questioned faces... "i'll teach you how to swim. It's either we drown together or we live together" with that i got his point!!! wahehehhe!!

Anywayz, he gave us our seating arrangement, and i was seated right in front of his table!!! waaaaahhh! how bad is that!?! but being the optimist that i am, i took it as a favor, as an advantage and as something to inspire me to study harder. I participated in the recitation and i think i did well, because he even called me "bright" waehhehe! GOOD SHOT!!! we discussed so many things. Next meeting is the denfense of our undergraduate research topic. i'm the 3rd one to defend even if i didn't volunteer, he asked me to volunteer coz no one was taking the initiative. argh! he even asked the first 10 to defend to prepare the Chapter1.

Although i only have less than 2days to do everything, my research topic defense and chapter1 and all the other assignments (meaning, ASSIGNMENTSSSSSSS!!) argh! I still feel happy. It only makes me strive harder! aja! aja!!

:+:death year???:+:

2005-06-14T12:28:00.000-07:00

It's the first day of classes and im unexplainably excited about it. But my excitement faded a bit when I realized how many people I'd miss. It started when I was at the train station. The sight of the train coming made me miss Emilce. Since we're just a station away, we would always try to ride on the same train every morning. She's usually the first one I see in our barkada during school days. And now, having different, way different schedules saddens me cause it'll be impossible for us to do our usual stuff.

When I arrived, Kiki was already there. The campus seems more crowded than the usual. I hope it's only because of the first day fever. Marquee asked us what section we belong to, he also told us that Mr. Cortado's gonna be our prof in TV prod and Direction, not bad, I thought... I asked him if we'll ever gonna deal with Dr. Cuevas (the terror-slash-uber gay professor), he said NOT!! and we can't help but jump for joy!!! Kiki and I have been praying about it and now our prayers were answered... or so we thought!!! Mr. Cortado announced to the class that Dr. Cuevas wanted to meet our section and they've been thinking of actually having him for our WOS class. waaaaaaaahhh!!!! No f*+#ing way!! waaahhh!! Is this really my doomsday!?!

But then I thought, why should I be afraid? what am I so anxious about? I'm a senior now and I just have to take it more of a favor rather than an adversity, but I have to say, in my case, adversity is really the best teacher. If only I'll do good this year, be the best student I never was, change my usual habit of tardiness and laziness, I'm sure I can surpass this year with flying colors. I shouldn't let my fear get into me. I shall strive hard to make my senior year fruitful. I have to bid goodbye to the procrastinator, lazy and easy-go-lucky me. Call it my college death year, I don't care! I know I can surpass it anyway.. I know I CAN! and that's what you call--- SPIRIT.

:+: Quizzes Galore :+:

2005-06-12T13:35:00.000-07:00

i never knew taking online quizzes can be so much fun. i seem to live in a different timezone for a week now loliesh! i've answered so many quizzes for i am totally bored.. no one to talk to coz they're all sleeping soundly while im awake, very much awake in the middle of the night. teehee!

here are the results of some of the quizzes i took..

.*. Are You a Mean Girl? .*.
11–17: MG. Did you ever think that you might be the Mean Girl of someone’s nightmares? This quiz isn’t a perfect diagnosis, but you might just have MG tendencies. I know revenge tastes sweet but it only continues the cycle of mean. If another girl is your obsession then she is really controlling you. A person is controlled by whatever they think about most. Get over her and get on with your life. In the end Mean Girls never win they just get old and bitter.

wahahahahah!! i scored 12 in this quiz.. maybe im not that mean at all.. hahahaha!

.*. Which Mean Girl Am I? .*.

Regina George

i may be a queen bee in some ways but im still a goody-good person inside out.

.*. The Real Me .*.
Here is the analysis:

You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.

You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.

You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.

Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?

Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

that's really me! so so true! you have to agree im not all queen bee!

.*. What's My Hidden Talent? .*.

Here is the analysis:

The Mass CommunicatorYou have a cheerful personality and you are a naturally kind person. Your hidden talent isn't really that hidden at all: you shine among a crowd. You would make an ideal news announcer, flight attendant or model - any position that would give you an opportunity to deal with plenty of people. A tip for you is to avoid getting too deeply involved in others' personal lives - otherwise you might find yourself constantly being asked for help.

obviously!! that's why im taking up Mass Communication! haller!!!

that's all for now, i suggest that you take time answering fun quizzes coz it's really one of the best boredom busters. ciao! muahz!

:+:all in a day:+:

2005-06-09T09:55:00.000-07:00

lately, i've been spending most of my day in front of the pc to ease the boredom that envelopes me. hihihi and since im bored and pc is just my company, why not go online shopping!!! so that's what i did, i visit an online shop and made few purchases. i was able to bag three cute and glam chandelier/ boho earrings for a low price. i was able to get my purchases today, quite a fast transaction. the seller told me that she'll give me a freebie on my next transaction. she promised to reserve two items for me when the new stocks arrive. i can't wait!

here are the pics of the uber cute chandz:

hopefully my other orders will arrive very soon. it's loads of fun to shop online. i enjoy everytime i'll go online shopping coz i always bag nice items. some maybe a bit pricey but who cares! as long as it's worth your penny it's still a good buy! if you're into good buys and fab finds, i suggest that you shop online. after all there are a lot of cheap stuff online. tag me so i can help you with your shopping. i can suggest online shops where you can shop safely.

-->after months of searching, i've finally found my bro's lost sun cellular sim card. t'was only on top of the fridge! we should've thought! loliesh! he let me use it since his fone is smart sim locked, whatever locked! hihii. my friends who use sun cell was so happy when they found out that im already using sun sim. i received numerous text messages and calls after calls after calls.. the last one who called was jefp. we talked till 1 in the morning i guess. the topic is still the same.. waheheheh! he said he's into some kinda biz right now. he also asked what puppy i like. he said he's gonna give me one, a shi tzu or a pom maybe, i dunno.. but he mentioned shi tzu.. and asked me to take good care of it once he gives the pup. *don't give me one yet, im busy with school and im out most of the time.. i cant promise to give the pup all my time.* as if! waheheheh! i guess i was a little rude on him coz i so wanna cut the conversation coz he's opening up that annoying topic again. i lied and told him that im really sleepy, but of course that's just my way of saying "goodbye! i dont feel like talking to you right now..." at long last he finally agreed to hang up. *so sorry jefp, i know you'll read this! peace! peace!*. after the call i went back to web surfing.. *net addict am i* lolz. i went to bed at around 5am.

-->even in my dreams, it's my blog layout that haunts me. i wanna change it even though they say i have nice blogskins. *thanks to evone* but for now, i'll be satisfied with it coz it takes time to edit everything and not all skins are tagboard friendly. anywayz, i woke up at the right side of the bed! imagine, i cleaned my room! i guess i got sick of the clutter and all those books piled on the set. my cousins couldn't believe that i actually uncluttered my room they find it rather unusual. not everyday that i clean huh! i texted gazee and told her what i was doing and to my surprise, she herself just finish tidying up her room, too! we're really like soul sistahs! *love yah cuzee* i didn't finish cleaning up everything. i still need to unload my closet. i'll try to do it later or whenever i feel like doing it coz it'll take loads of work for sure!

so i guess this is it for my daily ramblings! muahz!

:+:friends will always be friends:+:

2005-06-04T11:28:00.000-07:00

after a long time, months or a year perhaps, i was able to hang out with my higschool pals again.so delighted to see them. it was Gelo's modelling graduation that re-united the gang. the event started at 4pm and i was there at half past three (talk about early bird! ), waiting excitedly for others to arrive. i spotted Lery at the elevator, i immediately ran to her to give her a hug. I so miss her!!!! we decided to buy an ice cream first before taking our seats, when we got back, the rest were there (jherico, JM, RJ and Lester). The fashion show finally started and we all cheered for Gelo. It's way too embarassing for me coz everytime he'll ramp, my guy pals would point at me and scream "boyfriend yan ni KIM!!!" they teased us non-stop! i so wanna go to mars that moment! hahahah! Gelo and I are just bestfriends as in THE BEST OF PALS!!! so cheese it!! owkei!

when the show ended we felt the need to feed our grumbling tummies. we decided to just go somewhere else since we can't decide where to eat. but everything didn't turn out as planned. loliesh! we ended up dining at hidden tapsi (the best-est tapsihan i know). it stands in the slogan, "suka pa lang, ulam na!" everybody seemed hungry but that didn't stop us from firing jokes and crazy antics. for a treat, Gelo bought a gallon of ice cream where we ate at our house.nobody wanted to go home then so we headed to my crib. the day was loaded with lotsa jokes, stories, hilarious and somewhat gross what if's, boisterous laughters,trippings and pigging out. Jm's still as voracious as before.. hahahahha!!

they left before 10pm, early isn't it? jhe wanted to stay longer but lerz's kinda sick and she needs rest. what can he do? he needs to drive her home.. poor jhepongz.. wahehehe. the night ended with kisses of goodbyes to everyone. too bad kate and chai didn't make it. though there were only seven of us then, i can say that it was indeed a fun-filled bonding for all of us.

i miss you guys! hope to see you all soon! muahz!

:+:we took different paths, trudged on different journeys, met different people but there's one thing we never fail to do.. tug on the thread that bind us all...:+:

love cannot be forced

2005-05-27T20:19:00.000-07:00

"love cannot be forced..."
that's what i realized and learned after i received a call from somebody who's close to being special. we talked for what seems like eternity. well, it's nice to know that he's doing just what i want him to do with his life but odd as i may sound.. i felt a bit sad coz he's doing all of those for me and not for himself. i want him to be the best that he can be, not just for me but for himself as well. even though we never really share a romantic something, he'll always be special to me.. a special friend... he's very open about how he feels and so am i but the feeling isn't mutual. he loves me but i make sure he knows that, that's not how i feel towards him... yes, i love him, but only as a friend, nothing more, nothing less. im only showing concern. at times i feel so dense, it seems unfair coz he's doing everything for me and yet i can't reciprocate his love. honestly, i appreciate everything, even the simple things he does for me and i'm very thankful for that.

love can never be forced... even if that person is doing everything to win your heart. if it doesn't beat for him then it can never be him..

:+:so sad:+:

2005-05-21T23:11:00.000-07:00

i got up early and headed to school for our enrollment, i arrived at 10am. i was so happy to see my pals, haven't seen them since summer started. we exchanged few laughs and and all, proceeded to the enrollment and faced the ultimate test of friendship, as provided of course by the school suckers! ahehehehe sadly, we don't belong in the same section and it totally break my heart. pauie, kring and emilce at A, red at B and me, kiki and donna at C. i'll surely miss our gang.. i do hope we could all be togetehr on the 2nd semester. it's really sad.. but don't worry guys, kaye and I will gonna hunt whoever is responsible for that new idea of sectioning! aaaawww.. so sad.. im really gonna miss everything we do together..

KRING- aaaaawww.. im really gonna miss you. especially our after school bonding. the sleepovers, malling and kikay adventures and oh yah.. the gossips! im surely , totally gonna miss that!..

EMILCE- ahhh... hmmmm... "INTRAMUROS! INTRAMUROS! DALAWA NA LNG LALARGA NA! INTRAMUROS! INTRAMUROS!!!". emz a.k.a imelci a.k.a minyong, will i miss you? hmmm.. wait, i'll take a nap first before i answer that... ehhehehe! OF COURSE! i will. im gonna miss your addiction to lip gloss, your neutral mode!, the red spots you get when your hungry and of course, your ala-barker voice! and wait, not to mention, the way you dances "soldier" I LOVE THE WAY YOU MOVE AND GROOVE GURL! wahehehehhehe GET YOUR FREAK ON!(that's accdg. to kiki.. ) hikhikhik

PAUIE- a.k.a Poly, hey borne lippy! tsup? muahz! though we're not that tight anymore, im still gonna miss you.. oh how's that.. ehehhehe you'll always be the gang's "serial kisser". my polykarpya, so sweet and so wacky. i hope to still see more of you at school. dhangz gurl! am i being too mushy? weh!

RED...-dentor.. blush on baby! what am i gonna miss about you..?hmmm... i will NEVER forget our anong-problema-nyo moment!?! waeheheh.. make sure to check on your blush all the time. im gonna miss you but i don't think im gonna miss the color at all.. ahehehehe i'll miss how kikay you can be.

DONNA- since your still my classmate, i think i'll still see more of you.. think huh? coz you know, im such a mushroom and you are too.. ahehehehhe i'm glad we're still tight.. muahz! muahz! im looking forward to our shopping galore with your mom!

KIKI- dhangz!, what'll i write, your just beside me wight now.. ehheheh.. ooopppsss..don't look! what can i say..? nothing else but so sad... hikhikhik we've been together since firstyear 1st semester and im dying to get away from you! aehehhehe.. kidding! seriously, if there's one person who really knows how i feel about this matter, it's you. thank's for keeping up to all my kalokahan. i hope there would come a time that i would really miss you, except summer break.. ehhehehe.. we're like always together gurl! i really enjoy your company, through good and bad, badtrip and good trip, laugh trip, crying sessions.. everything! ~@&*^@*((~)#^*( YUCK!!! what've u just done?!>>> ahehehehe) yuck! badgurl.. ehheheh anywayz, see ya on monday! im looking forward to spending more time with you.. muahz!

the whole gang

kiki, me, kuya alvin, barbie and kring

kim(me),kring and kiki

~*~things i'll surely miss~*~
:+: Mcdo bonding
:+: Photo session (anytime, ANYWHERE!!)
:+: Mood swings (hihihi)
:+: Salon trips
:+: Chisms (waekkekeke)
:+: Wacky antics

to the class of ABMCB 3B, im gonna miss all of you so much! the kaingayan and kakikayan.. everything! muahz! and goodluck to all of us! muahz! aaaww.. really so sad..

how do i start?

2005-05-18T04:32:00.000-07:00

i wasn't myself lately and i find it weird coz im not usually like this. i've been thinking a lot about nothing, as in NOTHING at all... where am i? i feel a bit lost about myself, about my friends.. about everything. was i trap in world where only i knew of? i feel so desolated, maybe it has something to do with what my other friends did that totally hurt me without them knowing.. it's petty for them but not for me. i dont even know if they know how i felt about it. it's so sad coz i cant even write about it in my blog. im trying to just forget it, and I WILL. i won't make a big deal out of it after this.. promise!

awkie, let's start my blog right.. my summer's been a total disaster. i thought going to Laoag City would really take away my summer boredom, but i was wrong! dad made it completely wrong for moi! he's like the most annoying dad in the world, i cant say that i hate him coz it's like so brutal to say "hate", i just dont like him. imagine, he scolded me while we're ordering in a resto just because, for him, i was wearing a revealing T-SHIRT.. yah! a shirt, see how shallow is that?! his being drunk is not an excuse. and not only that when we arrived at laoag, we ate in this place called daguindal(i dont like it there! really!). and so some of his office pals were there, he introduced me and my bro. the introduction went like this... "(name of his pal), this is nikko, engineer na yan!blah..blah... "" and this is my daughter kim...." while eating "yan si kim, puro kaartehan yan..." huh! what an introduction! bravo! so rude! take note, he's not drunk when he did that. i didn't react, but trust me, i wanna spank him that time. infairness to my dad, he's not always like that. he can be very nice and sweet and generous at times but there are just times when he gets really irritating. he doesnt think of what others would feel, so insensitive. if only my sis could read this im sure she'll totally agree with me.. enough of this anger, i just wish papa would set a good example for all his kids! (which i dont think he would! hihihihi)

wahehehheh, i said start my blog right but i dont think im starting it right. but no one cares if i started it the wrong way and besides why am i insisting of starting it right, there's no right and wrong way to start a blog right? oh, whatever, i know im not making any sense now, so ciao!